The story of the gluttonous five

An absolute stunner of an early Spring day so cue an extended lunch break for dog walking through the little valley that surrounds the village. It was really quite warm and if this continues then we may see a repeat of that fabulous Easter of 2003 when yours truly was sporting shorts, T-shirt and bare feet. I remember quite clearly polishing the brass…then polishing off about eight hot cross buns.

Talking of which, I was reading a woman’s mag yesterday and fell upon an article on dieting. The usual stuff, don’t deny yourself, have a balanced intake of food and increase your exercise blah blah blah but there was one little nugget I latched onto. It said forget a blanket ban on 'bad foods' - instead you should just try and do without your ‘gluttonous five’, those foods that you just love but that are your serious undoing. Just cut them out, whatever they are. Now what was a little bizarre was that they were insistent that you were specific rather than generic. For example, if your weakness was cheese and onion crisps, ban cheese and onion crisps…but it’s okay to have salt and vinegar apparently. Huh? Well, unless that was also on your gluttonous five list…I guess the logic behind it is that there are some foods more than others that we love to stuff and that bust our diets wide open – if we can at least cut those out, then it’s going to help us lose weight in the long run.

So out of curiosity I compiled my own G5 index, which shocked me with its infinite breadth and variety:

> Cinnamon whirl/Belgian bun

> Caramel shortbread/chocolate tiffin

> Pain au raisin/croissant

> Hot cross bun/Chelsea bun

> Doughnuts

Now you understand why I’ve had to lose that sack of coal….But the thought of going without...If there’s anyone who can supply me with a low-cal recipe for a doughy, tasty treat, please make yourself known to me. Grubby used fivers may be in the offing.

P.S. Someone is bound to suggest Soreen Malt Loaf as a low-fat alternative. Trouble is, I love Soreen and those loaves are...well, deceptively easy to get through. Especially when you've made free with the Lurpak. And don't get me started on the SnackPak version...at one stage you couldn't see the carpets in my car for little yellow plastic containers in the footwell. Oh the shame.