Midweek report

Flippin’ eck, dogs are worse than children aren’t they? Since the onset of canine plague last week, the gang have all been a bit off their food. Well, I say off… Ranger is not attacking his with the same gusto, Monty is leaving some of his, which is unheard of, Arthur can’t make up his mind to eat or not eat and the girls are just disinterested. However, because of the general queasiness that has been going on with the occasional exploding bottom, I haven’t been that surprised at this suppertime malaise…so how come last night, after they have reluctantly picked at the finest offering of pasta, chicken, cheese and pilchards on a kibble coulis, do they suddenly take a huge interest in the jam doughnuts I’m proferring and gobble each one down without a backward glance or indeed a wrinkled nose or cough and splutter? It’s like the kid who pulls a sickie to stay off school but is well enough to demolish four Shredded Wheat, a loaf of toast and play on his Wii all day. I think I’ve been had…

That aside, it’s been manic since we got back on Sunday hence the absence of a post. (I thought I’d better get one in before my legion of fans started begging for more…Oh, too late, she already has, although, in my defence, this was written before I saw the prod! ) It was with great reluctance that we set off for home, especially as it was gloriously sunny when we left and it got more depressingly foggy the further south we came . Having had a fortnight on board, we’d just got nicely into the swing of things and to come away was a fair old wrench, even for big bed loving A. However, we did achieve a fair bit in the old boat enhancement line, which was very satisfying even if a little damaging to the pocket. In no particular order:

- New cratch cover with plans afoot for a table and proper seating

- A new 2000w inverter which A successfully installed – well it didn’t catch fire and it powered the coffee machine long enough for me to get two lattes out of it

- A magnificent new fender arrangement on the stern with a double tipcat/button set-up, which is just the dog’s dangly bits. It gives me a better than evens chance of not smashing up the rudder now

- A freshly blacked stove, courtesy of yours truly. Next time, I’ll wear gloves – black fingernails at client meetings are so last year

- Replacement LEDs in the saloon that actually shed a decent amount of light. The last lot were less luminous that Arthur's white belly.

- New carpets for the saloon and bedroom selected with a fitting date for next week. I knew there was a reason why we kept 800 packets of blue plastic overshoes from the Huddersfield National. The dogs will be sporting a new line in canine footwear, secured by the red rubber bands that the Royal Mail so liberally sprinkle about the pavements these days. Maybe they’d make a profit if they weren’t so careless..

- A new TV that encouraged us to attack the dust cum cable spaghetti that lurked behind the old one. No-one had ventured there for some time and I think things were living in it…

- A bin for the kitchen, the first ever. A has always held that bins fill too quickly so we’ve coped hitherto with a black sack on the floor in the corner. But I was in homemaker mode so decided the time had come to get something a little more sleek and stylish. While walking round Dunelm Mill, I chanced upon a bin with a sensor – the lid automatically opens when you put your hand over it – and realized that this was my salvation. There’d be ructions if I came back with a normal pedal bin – but a bin with a sensor? That makes it a gadget! Obviously, within 24 hours I was regretting the decision as A suddenly became very tidy and the bloody lid was buzzing back and forth like a thing possessed. Unfortunately it also sounds like the electric hare that greyhounds chase so you can just picture the scene..

- I’m also indebted to my friends on Indigo Dream for introducing me to the potential of sheepskins as dog beds. We’ve always struggled to find beds that work as comfortable areas for the dogs AND as manageable obstacles on the floor. We now have about 8 brown sheepskins littering the place but the dogs love them and we don’t trip over them, so result!

I am now going to do some work so I can earn some money to pay the credit card bill which will come with – or probably without – a red elastic band, but either way, will make me wince and fill me with regret for about….well, two minutes should see me right.

P.S. My decision to bunk off last Friday and go blogger hunting was rewarded with a delightful hour in the company of Geoff and Mags off Seyella. Such lovely people, and Meg the dog is a real sweetie. Good to see you all again, guys. Unfortunately, my mission to track down Bruce and Sheila on Sanity foundered as conditions conspired to make Market Drayton a destination too far for them. They can’t escape me for ever…

P.P.S. Another blogger meet is on the cards as I’ve done the usual and invited myself round to see Sue and Richard and Lou and Blue off the aforementioned Indigo Dream. They’re keen for me to bring the gang – obvious gluttons for punishment – but I’d like our friendship to be long-lasting so my hounds will be left to the tender ministrations of himself while he guts another synthesizer. There’s talk of a mini-cruise – never having done any of the GU south of Maffers, I’m already buzzing like my bin lid!

P.P.P.S. Caxton Lesley, don't think you've escaped. Once you're back on board, I'll be coming to find you...