23 May 2008

Canal Planner Diet

I tend to eat when I'm bored so with this new diet thing now casting its shadow, I'm trying to find new ways of amusing myself that are a) cheap and b) waistline-friendly. Playing with Nick Atty's Canal Planner is free and has no calories in it. I like to put in hypotehtical-at-this-stage-but-could-be-done-if-we-got-our-arses-in-gear journeys, with about 62 waypoints. When I look down at the summary calculations, the Planner dutifully tells me that my cruise will take 72 days and 2 minutes...not sure 72 really goes into my 14 available holiday days, so it's back to the drawing board. I am a terrible one for being over ambitious and these days I need to remember that the Planner's metric - the 9 hour cruise day - is not something I'm familiar with. Six hours is pushing it now but how I yearn for my youth when my dear old dad and I could get up at six sharp, cruise for twelve hours and still give the Trivia Machine a beating in the pub. Gawd, the hours we spent stood at those machines, me on the buttons, dad waggling his specs so that he could read the questions properly. Was it any wonder that I woke up with cramp in the dead of night, trying to stifle my cries of agony? I mean to say, we are not built to be on our feet for 16 hours a day...well, I'm not. My bottom was built to be sat on for about 51 weeks of the year and you can't have everything in life.

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