A moving tale

It's a big week for K2 Steve as he slowly moves all his gear on board his new home. In his latest post he succeeds in getting the following into his convertible:

"50Kg coal, large bag of logs, 2 bags of peat, 3 boxes of wine, 2 shepherd hooks, 8 toilet rolls, bag of ropes, Wok, 2 saucepans, clothes airer, TV theatre, 24 T shirts, 18 shirts, DVD's, Dyson, chain saw, box of bits, coffee table and 2 dog beds."

I'm assuming that the two dogs for the two dog beds will be arriving with master at the weekend..but does that mean they are bedless for a couple of nights? There'll be canine mutiny before you know it. Woof, bark, stupid bloody boat lark, when are we going back home....oh yes, take it from one who knows. And eight toilet rolls? Gosh, I do love a man who's well prepared. There's been too much loo roll trauma in my life...

But what I want to know, Steve, is why didn't you go and wangle brother Khayamanzi Andy's super Shogun for the week? You could pack your house and half of next door's in that beast, and isn't that what brothers are for? If there's a convertible in the offing, I could lend you a people carrier...wonderfully capacious but smells of dog a bit. Sorry.