2-4-6-8 Motorway

[With apologies to Tom Robinson]

The price we have to pay for our part-time boating is an unhealthy amount of time spent on Britain’s motorways. But there are some upsides – Norton Canes and Stafford South Services, to name but two, purveyors both of some very decent Costa Coffee, while Corley often tempts us with its green grass and unique Starbucks concession. Personally speaking, it’s a long time since I can remember having a really, really poor experience at a motorway services (if you exclude my visits to Birchanger Green which would give Dante the willies); these days they all seem worlds apart from the horrors of the old Trust House Forte and you can usually get a passable cup of coffee wherever you go.

One of my favourite websites is http://www.motorwayservices.info/, purely for the caustic comments and disparaging diatribes left by unhappy punters - a collective heads-up on those stops to avoid. I love the rating system, using burgers – the only services consistently rated at 5 burgers (the gold standard!) is the delightful Tebay on the M6. I’ve been there once and it does stand out in the memory. But then I could say the same about Bridgwater, just not for the right reasons. Cross the Rubicon of the slip road chevrons and it's very much a case of Veni, vidi, vile and seedy, let's get the hell out of here. [With apologies to Julius]