Dear Diary
Last night I ran into the orchard at 10pm and found a large ball in the hedge. It was a very prickly ball and after squeezing it a couple of times I dropped it. I was just about to sniff it some more when mummy charged out of the house like a crazy woman telling me to leave it. I don’t know what was wrong with her but she dragged me over to the bucket and gave me a full-on mouthwash. She then went back into the orchard and chucked my ball over the fence like a right old party pooper. I didn’t mind too much as my mouth was quite sore by then and I wanted to go to bed but mummy kept on wagging her finger at me and mumbling something that sounded like ‘chedgebog’. I have no idea what a chedgebog is. If I knew what it was, I’d get her one and put it in her bed for her. She likes presents. It’s very hot here so I’m going to lie down for another six hours. Someone wake me when it’s time for my sausage baguette.
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