19 June 2008

Criminal canine

Re: DogsonBlogs, my thanks to Richard for letting me know about Muriel and for bringing to my attention the criminal record of Jack the retriever. I think I feel a competition coming on for the best tale of wanton doggie yobbery or canine larceny. All contributions welcome. Out of my lot, Susie should probably be in the Scrubs by now. ‘Yes, m’lud, I confess to one count of hot-cross bun stealing and one count of rolling a puppy over and I’d like 3000 other offences to be taken into consideration.’ And Ranger's not much better. Just recently, about twenty five slices of luncheon meat fell out of a packet I was about to put back in the fridge, only for them to somehow land in his mouth. He wasn’t overly impressed when A tried to retrieve them and I believe one of A’s fingers is not as long as it used to be. But on balance, considering the potential for trouble with five independently minded mutts, I think I’m fairly lucky – they don’t destroy things, they don’t tend to roll in muck, they are fairly peaceable most of the time and the only thing that’s truly criminal about them is their farts. If I could somehow harness their methane and use it as a biofuel, I’d even forgive them that. What a great way to get rid of the tailgaters...

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